Meditation gives us the tools to persist on the path of full human development

In his chapter, “Meditation develops full human beings”, Jon Kabat-Zinn (1994) introduces the concept of what it means to be a full human being, what is required to develop into a full human being, and how meditation helps with this process. In this reflection, I will explain and elaborate on these ideas.

Kabat-Zinn suggests that there is a time in our lives when we will be compelled to contemplate our lives and reflect on existential questions. This is a natural extension in the process of human development, a logical and even inevitable next step. If we do not take this step, then we let our development arrest, because there is a fuller potential that we can develop towards. This potential, of a full human being, involves rediscovering the good, the true, and the possible within ourselves, what Kabat-Zinn calls our “radiant selves”, what is “healthy and strong and golden within you”, and a source of wisdom and sense of inner mastery that will help us to live happy, peaceful lives, defined by really living in the here and now. While the term “full” implies a destination, I would suggest that this may be better conceptualised as a continual path and process, rather than a stage or a destination, given our endless potential for growth. Perhaps, then, to be a full human being simply means to be travelling the path of continual development.

This isn’t a pretty process, however. We must face, and indeed, embrace, and work with, the aspects of our psyches and our different mind states that we may not always like and usually try to turn away from or suppress through experiential avoidance. We can only develop by facing challenges and exercising courage to confront fears, even when we don’t know all the answers and we’re plagued by uncertainty. In this sense, it involves being comfortable with being uncomfortable. Moreover, it helps if we recognise that uncomfortable or “dark” mind states are not “bad”, “negative”, or “enemies”; rather, we can embrace them if we realise that they are helping us to develop our understanding of ourselves and of the human condition, and to develop compassion for ourselves and for others, who we realise also house inner demons and dragons, just as we do. In other words, all of the characters in our stories, especially the challenging ones, are teachers and good friends, the ones who actually dare us to grow.

Besides facing emotional discomfort, it turns out that we also have to put in a lot of effort and do the grunt work for our own development. This inner work takes discipline, to come back to the practice, over and over again, even if we’re bored, tired, in pain, have other stuff to do, or are otherwise uncomfortable. Nobody said it would be easy, but I cannot think of a more important task than to work towards becoming the best person I can be, so that I can live a life that is both good for myself and good for others.

The good news, at least, is that the practice itself helps keep us on the path, by equipping us with some very helpful tools. If we try as best we can to embody the attitudes of mindfulness, then we are empowered with the equanimity to face and embrace whatever is already here, and the perspective to step back and make choices from a position of greater awareness. Therefore, in a perfect synergy, the practice will do its work, as a roadmap to development, if we are willing to do our work of actually travelling along the path, which may well be bumpy and uphill, but ultimately is what it is, and this realisation can liberate us as we persist on the unbounded journey of full human development.

References

Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Meditation develops full human beings. In Wherever you go, there you are: Mindfulness meditation in everyday life (pp. 81-86). New York: Hyperion.

Not Practicing is Practicing

The title of this post comes from a chapter in Jon Kabat-Zinn's book, "Wherever You Go, There You Are". I read this book towards the end of my break from university, and this chapter particularly resonated with me. So what does this seemingly paradoxical statement, "Not Practicing is Practicing", really mean?

In Jon Kabat-Zinn's words:

"every time you come back to yoga practice, you see the effect of not having done it for a while. So in a way you learn more by coming back to it than you would by just keeping it up...Forgetting or neglecting to be mindful can teach you a lot more than just being mindful all the time...Try noticing the difference in how you feel and how you handle stress in periods when you are into the discipline of daily meditation and yoga practice and in period of your life when you are not."

This seems applicable to most skills in life. I've seen it in my violin playing, singing, fitness, and now, mindfulness. I think this point is best illustrated with a personal example, so I apologise in advance if this seems a bit self-indulgent.

Slipping into mindlessness

I have to admit that my holidays were far from mindful. For various reasons, my regular meditation practice had slipped from something like this to something like this. Along with this neglect of formal mindfulness practice, I felt like I had also slipped back into a cloud of unawareness, emotional reactivity, negative emotions, and an auto-pilot lack of consciousness. 

I also noticed that I was causing myself a lot of suffering due to the attachments I had; ideas about I had about what holidays or home should be like, or how I should be able to keep up my meditation practice, or even, more deludedly, how other people should be. A commitment to formal mindfulness practice would have helped me to better apply the skills of letting go and letting be in my daily life, and seeing things as they are and not how I would like them to be, which I do better at nowadays than in my pre-mindfulness (mindless?) days.

In a nutshell, due to this lack of awareness, while there were many enjoyable aspects of the break and while I definitely wasn't miserable, I can't say I was flourishing or getting the most out of life, even during a period of near-complete freedom from obligations and commitments.

"It is in the coming back to mindfulness that seeing lies."

While the above may seem a little sobering, there is a bright side to the story. University has started again, and with the structure and momentum of semester, I have begun my regular formal practice again, and am already feeling more grounded, stable and more able to let go (e.g. getting over a burglary in my room relatively quickly).

I've also come back with new ideas about maintaining intention and purpose in my practice. To experiment with the idea of the value of "the coming back", I've decided to try something else to mix up my practice a bit; by practicing six days a week instead of seven. I think that one day off a week will prevent the practice from becoming mechanised and routinised, and leaves something to come back to. For now, I'll aim to meditate for 30 mins in the morning and 10 mins at night from Mon-Friday, take Saturday off, and meditate 1 hour Sunday morning and 1 hour Sunday evening, usually at a group sitting. It might turn out that I prefer to meditate every day, but I'll see how it goes.

Therefore, the key to this seemingly paradoxical statement, "Not Practicing is Practicing" is that not practicing is only practicing if you come back to it, so that you are able to learn something from your time away. More importantly, rather than flagellating oneself over not practicing, or regretting what has already happened, it makes more sense to simply return with a fresh approach, a beginner's mind, and begin again, and again, again, remembering that every moment is a new beginning and the only moment that we are fully alive in.

The Mindful Way Through Exams

What do you associate with the word, "exams"? Stress? Work? Pressure? Tunnel-vision? I think these are some fairly common conceptions of what exam periods usually look like. However, I also believe that this is not an inevitable fate. While it is usually true that exam preparation involves increased demands of our physical and mental resources, I hope to explain here how mindfulness can be a particularly effective buffer against psychological stress. By studying with intention, starting or maintaining a formal practice, taking mindful breaks and maintaining a mindful attitude, exams can be a period of focused learning that remains simply another aspect of your life, rather than an all-consuming stressful experience.

Conscious Studying

Mindfulness, as the art of conscious living, applies to any area of life. This includes approaching study with purpose and intention.

Compare these illustrative examples:

Mindless Studying

• Pseudo-studying
• Studying with Facebook and your work open in two windows side-by-side and your phone next to you
• Studying while watching TV
• Autopilot studying
• Indiscriminately revising all content regardless of how well you already know it
• Passively reading/flipping through the textbook
• Copying your notes over and over again
• Punitive studying
• Locking yourself in the library (or your room) from 8am-12am with a 6-pack of Red Bull and no breaks

Conscious Studying 

• Reviewing flash cards with a spaced repetition function so you only study relatively unfamiliar content
• Making mind-maps to summarise and integrate your subject
• Practicing problem sets and past exams
• Practicing writing essays in exam conditions
• Splitting up your final essay into clearly defined stages with time limits:
• Find XX relevant sources (4 hours)
• Compile relevant evidence, with citations, from the sources in one document under headings of the topics you may want to address (3 hours)
• Given your research, rethink the structure of your essay and come up with a possible argument (2 hours)
• Write paragraph 1
• Write paragraph 2
• etc...
• After leaving for a day or two, edit for structure
• Edit for spelling/grammar
• Final sanity edit

Conscious studying is simply a more effective approach; by cutting out the distractions and being more specific about what you want to achieve, you get more done in less time and with less pain.

Formal Practice

Exams is as good a time as any to establish a formal practice. After all, mindfulness is associated with reduced anxiety and stress (Hofmann, Sawyer, Witt, & Oh, 2010; Evans et al., 2007), and increased working memory capacity and sustained attention (Chambers, Lo, & Allen, 2008). 

Apart from these performance-related benefits, mindfulness meditation can support your general sense of wellbeing. In a time when we are probably relatively focused on getting stuff done, taking 5 or 10 minutes to simply be with the breath brings you back to the present, helps you get back in touch with yourself, cultivates a sense of peace, and reduces perceived time pressure, when you realise that taking a few minutes to just be won't kill your study schedule.

So how do you do it?

Find a time that works for you. It may be first thing in the morning, last thing at night, or before dinner, for example.

There are a variety of possible practices, including mindfulness of the breath, mindfulness of the body, mindfulness of sounds and thoughts, and the body scan. I'll just provide the instructions for mindfulness of the breath here (repeated from Mindfulness in a Nutshell). However, you can easily substitute "sensations of the breath" for the sensation of your body as a whole, for sounds in the environment, or for an awareness of your thought-stream. The basic idea of mindfulness is to choose an object of attention and to constantly bring your attention back to it.

1. Sit upright with wakefulness and dignity
2. Bring your attention to the sensations of the breath in the belly or nostrils, or wherever else you can feel the breath. Stick with this location for the session.
3. Feel the full duration of each in-breath and each out-breath.
4. When you notice that your mind is no longer on the breath (this is inevitable!), notice what is on your mind in that moment, and let it go, then escort your attention back to the breath.

Mindful Breaks

Even if you choose not to establish a formal practice, mindfulness can be an effective practice during study breaks. When we are studying, often we get wrapped up in the content and the learning, and in doing so, lose touch with the external world outside of our laptops or textbooks, and with ourselves. The 3-minute breathing space is a good exercise for bringing you back to the present moment, noticing everything else that is in it, including your own mental and physical state, that you have possibly been ignoring while studying. It's a good idea to study for perhaps 50 minutes before taking a 10 minute break, including a breathing space (or perhaps 25 minutes, then a 5 minutes break). An even simpler alternative for a mindful break is to just bring your attention to your breath for one minute.

Here are the instructions (again, repeated from Mindfulness in a Nutshell).

1. Awareness: Bring yourself into the present moment, asking yourself, “What is my experience right now…in thoughts…in feelings…and in bodily sensations?” Acknowledge and register your experience, even if it is unwanted.
2. Gathering: Gently redirect full attention to breathing, to each in-breath and to each out-breath as they follow, one after the other.
3. Expanding: Expand the field of your awareness around your breathing, so that it includes a sense of the body as a whole, your posture, and facial expression.

Stop! Try it now - go on, it'll only take 3 minutes!

Mindful Attitudes

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, mindful attitudes can help maintain a healthy and balanced mindset during exams.

Non-judging. Notice the tendency of the mind to label experiences as good or bad, to like or dislike. For example, you may be finding some aspects of study "boring", or feel aversion towards stressful thoughts and feelings, or label yourself as "dumb" if you don't get something, or "lazy" for procrastinating. Simply observe this judging tendency when it arises, without necessarily trying to change it. This is about developing an acceptance of your experiences, even if they are unwanted, and being gentle with yourself.

Acceptance. Seeing things as they actually are in the present, not how you would like them to be. This might involve noting that you are seriously behind on your study schedule, adjusting it, and moving on, rather than freaking out (reacting) or pretending it's all ok (denial). After an exam, this involves recognising that what has happened has happened, and letting go, without ruminating on it any further.

Beginner's Mind. A mind that is free from expectations and receptive to the unique possibilities in every moment. What happened yesterday and the day before has already happened. Whether it was productive or filled with setbacks, each day is a new day, and expectations either way can lead to disappointment. Approach each day with a fresh mind, ready to learn and tackle any problems that come up.

Trust. Everyone has their own way. You know your learning style best, so balance external guidance with a trust in your own basic wisdom and intuition.

Non-striving. Mindfulness is not about trying to get anywhere, because you are already here. This may sound like a completely bizarre attitude to invoke when it comes to exam preparation. After all, preparation, by definition, involves trying to achieve things (as was apparent in the Conscious Studying section). However, if you approach exam preparation with the idea that you need to get a certain amount of stuff done, or achieve a certain grade, then you've introduced the notion into your mind that you're not ok as you are. Thus, as paradoxial as it seems, it is worth balancing these goals with a realisation that your goals are not you, and that as long as you are breathing, there is more right with you than wrong with you.

Conclusion

Through a combination of a conscious approach to studying, formal practice, mindful breaks and mindful attitudes, mindfulness can help you to maintain balance and perspective during exams. It's a way that is not only effective, but more importantly, encourages you to be realistic, gentle with yourself, and to stay in touch with the present moment and therefore with life, which doesn't stop for exams!

References

• Chambers, R., Lo., C., & Allen, N. B. (2008). The impact of intensive mindfulness training on executive cognition, cognitive style, and affect. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 32, 303-322.
• Evans, S., Ferrando, S., Findler, M., Stowell, C., Smart, C., & Haglin, D. (2008). Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for generalized anxiety disorder. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 22(4), 716-721.
• Hofmann, S. G., Sawyer, A. T., Witt, A. A., & Oh, D. (2010). The effect of mindfulness-based therapy on anxiety and depression: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 78(2), 169-183.

Mindfulness in a Nutshell

What exactly is "mindfulness", the theme of this blog? Why be mindful? How can mindfulness be developed? I aim to provide a brief introduction to these topics here.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the art of conscious living. This involves a mode of being that involves non-judgemental awareness of the present moment (Kabat-Zinn, 2003), allowing us to wake up, reconnect with ourselves and with the world, and to appreciate the richness of every moment. 

1. Present moment: Noticing whatever is actually here, right here, right now. Not what happened yesterday, or what you need to do tomorrow, or where you would like to be...but allowing yourself to fully experience what is already here. This could involve the breath, bodily sensations, sounds, thoughts, or a "choiceless awareness" of any aspect of the present moment.
2. Awareness: Paying attention. This is an active process of continually bringing your attention back to what you are observing in the present moment whenever your mind gets carried away. In this sense, mindfulness involves mastery of the mind, the opposite of mindlessness.
3. Non-judgemental: Accepting, embracing, and remaining equanimous to those present-moment experiences that you are paying attention to. Taking a break from liking and disliking, and instead, simply noticing whatever is here and allowing it to be.

Why be mindful?

Mindfulness is based on an awareness that we literally only have moments to live. We spend much of our time thinking, planning and worrying about the future, or regretting and ruminating about the past. Each time our mind wanders from where we are in the present moment, we reduce our ability to fully experience and appreciate the present moment. By bringing our awareness back into this present moment, right here, right now, we can really live life in its full richness.

Therefore, by cultivating an accepting, non-judgemental attitude, and a mind that is able to both stay and see things as they are in the present moment, mindfulness has the potential to reduce the impact and influence of stressful thoughts and feelings, to promote balance, calm and peace, and emotional stability, and to develop self-acceptance and self-compassion.

In Western psychology, there has recently been an explosion of interest in mindfulness. It's no wonder why, when you consider the promising results of studies so far, which have linked mindfulness with reduction in anxiety and mood problems (Hofmann, Sawyer, Witt, & Oh, 2010; Evans et al., 2007), increased left-sided anterior brain activation (associated with positive emotions) and improved immune function (Davidson et al., 2003), reduced size of amygdala (involved in stress responses) and significantly reduced perceived stress (Hölzel et al., 2010), and improvements in self-reported depressive symptomatology, negative affect, working memory capacity, and sustained attention (Chambers, Lo, & Allen, 2008).

Given all of these likely benefits, it seems fair to conclude that mindfulness has a real potential to promote peace, wellbeing and health.

How is it developed? 

Mindfulness can be developed through both "formal" and "informal" practice.

Formal practice can involve sitting practices, such as mindfulness of the breath, mindfulness of the body, and mindfulness of sounds and thoughts. It can also involve a body scan, lying down. Alternatively, walking meditation is a suitable practice for those who don't like the idea of sitting or lying still.

10 minutes a day is a good place to start, and even 5 minutes a day can make a difference.

Here are some basic instructions for mindfulness of the breath and mindfulness of the body:


Mindfulness of the Breath

Breath is life. Mindfulness helps us to get in touch with the breath and how it changes with our moods, and to recognise how precious it is to be breathing.

1. Sit upright with wakefulness and dignity
2. Bring your attention to the sensations of the breath in the belly or nostrils, or wherever else you can feel the breath. Stick with this location for the session.
3. Feel the full duration of each in-breath and each out-breath.
4. When you notice that your mind is no longer on the breath (this is inevitable!), notice what is on your mind in that moment, and let it go, then escort your attention back to the breath.

Mindful Walking 

Bring your full awareness to the sensations of walking, noticing:

• The physical sensations of the contact of the feet with the ground
• The weight of your body transmitted through your legs and feet to the ground
• The changing patterns of physical sensations in the legs and feet as you transfer the weight of the body into each leg
• The movements of the body as it changes direction

You may like to start by walking at a pace that is slower than usual, and try faster speeds later.

Informal practice, which involves bringing mindfulness into everyday life, is just as important, and possibly even moreso, than formal practice. This is because the point of formal practice is to be able to bring mindful awareness into daily life, to bring the being into the doing. Here are a couple of suggestions:

Mindfulness of Everyday Activities 

Choose a routine activity in your daily life (e.g. brushing your teeth, showering, getting dressed, eating) and make a deliberate effort to bring moment-to-moment awareness to that activity each time you do it. Simply focus on knowing what you are doing as you are actually doing it.

3-Minute Breathing Space 

The breathing space provides a way to step out of “automatic pilot” and reconnect with the present moment.

1. Awareness: Bring yourself into the present moment, asking yourself, “What is my experience right now…in thoughts…in feelings…and in bodily sensations?” Acknowledge and register your experience, even if it is unwanted.
2. Gathering: Gently redirect full attention to breathing, to each in-breath and to each out-breath as they follow, one after the other.
3. Expanding: Expand the field of your awareness around your breathing, so that it includes a sense of the body as a whole, your posture, and facial expression.

Conclusion

Jon Kabat-Zinn's statement, "Mindfulness is about living life as if it really mattered," is an apt summary of what mindfulness is and why we should be mindful. Every moment is fragile and precious, and if we value life, then we need to be here to experience it. There are compelling reasons to believe that this way of existence is beneficial for us on psychological, medical, social and spiritual levels. It is exciting that Western medicine and psychology are finally recognising and validating the benefits of mindfulness, and I am looking forward to learning from, and hopefully contributing to, future research.

References 

• Chambers, R., Lo., C., & Allen, N. B. (2008). The impact of intensive mindfulness training on executive cognition, cognitive style, and affect. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 32, 303-322.
• Davidson, R. J., Kabat-Zinn, J., Schumacher, J., Rosenkranz, M., Muller, D., Santorelli, S., et al. (2003). Alterations in Brain and Immune Function Produced by Mindfulness Meditation. Psychosomatic Medicine, 65, 564-570.
• Evans, S., Ferrando, S., Findler, M., Stowell, C., Smart, C., & Haglin, D. (2008). Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for generalized anxiety disorder. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 22(4), 716-721.
• Hofmann, S. G., Sawyer, A. T., Witt, A. A., & Oh, D. (2010). The effect of mindfulness-based therapy on anxiety and depression: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 78(2), 169-183.
• Hölzel, B.K., Carmody, J., Evans, K.C., Hoge, E.A., Dusek, J.A., Morgan, L... Lazar, S.W. (2010). Stress reduction correlates with structural changes in the amygdala. Social Cognitive & Affective Neuroscience, 5(1), 11-17.
• Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context - Past, present and future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144-156.

Free Hugs at UniMelb

Yesterday, a group of students studying a Positive Psychology breadth subject, Motivation, Wellbeing and Performance at the University of Melbourne, took on the role of "huggers" for an hour, offering free hugs to anyone and everyone. Incidentally, I wasn't taking this subject, but had found out about the event through Facebook and decided to join in, since I love hugs, and it seemed like a perfect opportunity to spread some goodwill and to do something spontaneous.

The Huggers.
Source: The University of Melbourne Facebook Page.

Why Free Hugs?

The lecturer for the subject briefed us before we embarked on our hugging mission, reminding us of the rationale for this project. Hugs promote the release of oxytocin from the pituitary gland, which enhances empathy and the ability to trust others, as well as reducing the stress hormone cortisol. 

Personally, I saw it as a fantastic opportunity to promote connectedness amongst people. Too often, we are exclusive, reclusive and selective of who we trust and connect with. To me, free hugs is a way of breaking down that barrier of the Other and just recognising that we are all human and can bring happiness to others in a simple, yet meaningful way. It's a way of expressing affection in a non-selective way.

What did we do?

There were about 26 of us wearing FREE HUGS t-shirts or holding FREE HUGS signs. We swarmed around a popular path on campus and moved to an even busier location later, promoting "our product" by asking passersby if they would like a free hug and yelling out the benefits of hugs. Examples of what I said included:

• "Free hugs for all!!"
• "Hugs for happiness!!"
• "Free hugs!! Woooo!!"
• "Would you like a free hug?"
• "Hugs are good for you!"
• "Hugs reduce stress!"

How did people react?

People more-or-less reacted as I had expected. While there were a few people who enthusiastically accepted a free hug, it remained the case that the vast majority of people did not want to be hugged by complete strangers. Thus, the responses to "Would you like a free hug?" seemed to fall into these categories:

1. The Enthusiastic Hugger: "Absolutely! I love hugs!"
2. The Casual Hugger: "Yeah, sure, why not?"
3. The Awkward Hugger: "Uh...ok."
4. The Amused Passerby: (no response, walks away smiling)
5. The Anxious Passerby: (gives strange look, walks away as quickly as possible)
6. The Non-Hugger: "No thanks, I'm not into hugging."

There were far more rejections than hugs given, for sure! I'll let you make your own inferences about what that reflects or implies about our society and culture. Nonetheless, I know we brought a smile to many, whether from the happiness of a hug, or from the amusement of the spectacle.

What was it like being a hugger?

I have to say, this project actually required a lot of courage. It would be an understatement to say that it was a high-exposure task. It was super-awkward to begin with, and that awkwardness was always in the background. The most important thing though, was for huggers to be able to laugh off rejections and to remain focused on the goal of spreading joy, happiness and connectedness.

This focus made the whole process an exhilarating and mindful experience. I maintained a non-judgemental attitude towards all potential huggees, and was present and acutely aware of what was going on in each moment. By the end of the session, I felt a strong feeling of goodwill and love towards others, and was in a much lighter and more positive state of mind.

Conclusion

Human beings have a need to connect with others. Free hugs are a simple, free and genuine way to promote this goal, in a way that is fulfilling for both the hugger and the huggee. Despite the majority of people tending to reject free hugs, it remains a noble goal, bringing benefits to those who are willing to overcome the barrier of strangers and sociocultural norms, to connect with, share affection for and appreciate a fellow human being. Hopefully in the future, with more free hugs campaigns throughout in the world, there will be an increased acceptance of the value of free hugs in promoting connectedness and love.

I'm interested in your thoughts...

• Would you accept a free hug?
• Are hugs something that should only be given to friends and family?
• Would you ever consider offering free hugs?
• What would be your biggest fear in offering free hugs?

And...here's the video!

Mindful Music: Lessons from working with Eric Whitacre

Last week, I had the opportunity to work with Eric Whitacre, who is one of the most notable composers and conductors of our time, and my favourite live composer. He conducted our choir for a concert in Melbourne (here's a review). It was a mind-blowingly awesome experience, and I came away with so much respect for that man. Over a day of rehearsals, a dress rehearsal and a concert, I learnt so much about musicianship, leadership and love.

Mindful Music-Making and Musical Leadership

The way it felt to me, the music really come to life from the moment Eric started rehearsing us on Thursday morning. It felt like he literally breathed life and music into the choir. Prior to that, in our own rehearsals, we hadn't done much with his pieces, other than getting confident with the notes by singing through the pieces in a semi-autopilot mode. That completely changed on Thursday. 

Eric explained the intention and meaning behind each piece, and gave me a completely new and deep understanding of what he wanted out of our performance. For example:

• In Lux Arumque, we were aiming to "hack the brains" of the audience, to train them to breathe in for four beats, then out for four beats with the two bar crescendo-decrescendo motif. The soprano solo was designed to be a microcosm of that motif. It was a constant pattern of blooming and releasing. This was a recurring motif in basically all of his pieces.
• In the second movement of Five Hebrew Love Songs, "Kalah Kallah" the men were supposed to sound longing, with plenty of emphasis on the "K" consonant, making it "sensual" (Eric really likes his "K"'s!). The girls were supposed to sound playful and light on the "la la la" bits (as opposed to aggressive). Just before the last "la la la" section, there was a very quiet, calm and "introspective" moment for the girls, deciding about her future with the boy.
• In The Seal Lullaby, what was required was a "maternal" tone - we're singing a baby to sleep! - and a cinematic mood, since this was written for a movie that was never made. We needed to make use of the "shhh" of "hush", because apparently the "shh" calms babies by simulating the rushing sound they hear in the womb.
• In This Marriage, we really needed to think about diction (as with all his pieces), savouring what we were saying. The goal was to make his wife, who was in the audience that night, cry, since she hadn't heard that piece in concert for years apparently. In the last section, "I am out of words to describe how spirit mingles in this marriage", despite it being quiet, it needed to maintain a sense of urgency and ecstasy, which was carried through to the end.
• A Boy and a Girl was a story about the beginning, middle and end of a lifetime of love between a shy, tender boy, and an electric, vibrant girl. It was made up of single, simple gestures, painting these moments.
• Even the frivolous Animal Crackers were brought to life and made even funnier by his guidance. One of the most important things was again diction - humour based on wordplay required that the words actually be heard to be funny! In "The Panther", we alternated between genuine concern for the audience, and moments of terror, hiding behind a rock or something. In "The Canary", which I think is possibly my favourite out of the Animal Crackers, the sopranos were supposed to act like a ditzy songbird, completely unaware of the world around them, while completely driving everyone insane with their song that "never varies, never varies, never varies..."
• We also sang a Bach chorale, conceived by London, Come Sweet Death, which ended with singing the first half in free time, all at different times, with choralography. Although a lot of the choristers were averse to the hand movements, it made a lot more sense when Eric explained how effective the piece was, as a visual symbol of the cycles of life and death, allowing the audience to see where everyone is in their personal "life course".

With that understanding, we were able to actually make musical progress. The rehearsal process was remarkably efficient - there was very little "singing through" of pieces which often becomes automatic. Instead, we would be given instructions regarding diction/dynamics/phrasing/intention, try it once, and move on!

We were also never in any doubt as to what he wanted from us musically when he was conducting. His movements perfectly mirrored the spirit of the different pieces, from very calm, tender and solemn moments, to more frivolous and playful sections. His intensity, focus, commitment to the music and enthusiasm was completely contagious. We were enraptured.

What's more, he was a complete pleasure to work with. I consider him to be a pretty mindful conductor actually. He was so positive, never speaking negatively or harshly, with any criticisms said very lightly and often with a laugh. Oh, and he actually giggled so much when he was pleased with the sounds we were making! It was hilarious. He never revealed a single trace of frustration or negativity, even when we were actually not doing that well on one of his pieces which we hadn't looked at as much. He simply told it as it was, in an equanimous, non-judgemental way, and requested that we look at it on Saturday because we couldn't do much with the music without being more confident with the notes. It was a statement, not a "RARRRRR". Also, when he sensed that our focus was slipping later on, he didn't get annoyed either, but sat down and literally was like, "What's up, guys?". He tried to understand why.

He was also extremely friendly, making a real effort to connect with the choristers individually, as best he could. On reflection, I still find it completely surreal that we had the opportunity to work so closely with Eric Whitacre! However, when we were actually rehearsing, there was no "star-struck-ness", because he was so down-to-earth and chilled out.

Despite rehearsals on Thursday going for 5 hours, I didn't feel drained by the end of the day, but felt inspired and pumped!! It just goes to show that the way in which rehearsals are run has an amazing impact on the motivation and energy of the choir. Eric's mindful musicianship and leadership, with his complete presence and intensity, made for an engaging, inspirational and magical musical experience.

On Love

I also learned a lot about love over these two days, by understanding the deeper meanings of his music, hearing his anecdotes, and seeing him with his family. His music is so full of love in all its forms, from the maternal, to the romantic, whether young and innocent, or reflecting lifelong devotion. He also talked so much about his wife and son in the context of his music, and you could really see how completely devoted he was to both of them.

In the concert, he noted that the lyrics of "This Marriage", which was written for his wife for their 7th wedding anniversary, is like a manual for marriages - regarding the line, "May this marriage be full of laughter", he commented that "it's all about the laughter, that's pretty much the whole damn thing!". Before the Five Hebrew Love Songs, which his wife wrote the lyrics for back when they were dating, he noted that "Normally my wife doesn't get to come to my concerts because she's a professional singer, so normally when I conduct this I feel really homesick...but now it just feels good." It was a pretty moving statement.

We also had the chance to meet his wife and son backstage. His son was so adorable, vibrant and spirited, and it was touching to see him so proud of his dad and to watch how happy they all were together.

There were so many moments during rehearsals, the concert, and in between, where I just felt so touched. Touched by the music, by the amazing opportunity, by a respect for Eric Whitacre, by seeing and singing about love and compassion.

Overall, it was the most special musical experience of my life, and one of the most mindful processes too, with the full engagement with every aspect of the music and conveying this in performance. I'm glad I was able to be completely present to savour each moment, transient as they always are.

Mindfulness and Engagement: Lessons from Social Psychology

Two weeks ago, I attended a public lecture at the University of Melbourne, "Beyond Pleasure and Pain: Value from Engagement", where the notable Professor E Tory Higgins from Columbia University presented his theory of motivation. He proposed that there is more to the story of motivation than simply hedonic pleasure and pain, or the "carrot and stick" layman conception. While pleasure and pain determine the direction of the experience of value as positive or negative, strength of engagement intensifies these forces of attraction and repulsion, making life more "alive".

Sources of engagement include: (1) regulatory fit between the orientation and the manner of goal pursuit; (2) using the right or proper means of goal pursuit; (3) opposing something that interferes with the goal pursuit; and (4) experiencing an upcoming event (relevant to the current goal pursuit) as being real because of its high expressed likelihood.

He only had time to talk a bit about the first two sources, though, which I'll describe here. I'll also explain the relevance of this theory to mindfulness.

1. Regulatory fit

Regulatory fit occurs when, given a current orientation, the manner of goal pursuit "sustains" the orientation. It strengthens engagement by making what you are doing "feel right".

For example, those who have a promotion focus are focused on aspirations, advancement, accomplishments, gains, and moving from "0" to "+1". Eager strategies fit promotion. In contrast, those who hold a prevention focus are focused on responsibilities, safety, security, non-losses, stopping movement from "0" to "-1". Vigilant strategies fit prevention.

Prof. Higgins described his study (Higgins, Idson, Freitas, Spiegel, & Molden, 2003) where participants were measured on their habitual orientation to pursuing goals (promotion or prevention). They were then asked to choose between a mug and a pen. Following this, half of the participants were told to think about what they would gain by choosing the mug or the pen (an eager strategy), and the other half were told to think about what they would lose by not choosing the mug or the pen (a vigilant strategy). Participants who chose the mug were shown an envelope containing the price of the mug, and were asked to offer a price, with their own money, to purchase the mug. If the price was higher or equal to the amount in the mug, they would get the mug for the price they offered, otherwise they would not get the mug. Participants with good regulatory fit in the Promotion + Eagerness and the Prevention + Vigilant conditions offered around $4.70. However, participants offered significantly less money, around $3, for the mug when they were in conditions with poor regulatory fit; the Promotion + Vigilant and Prevention + Eager conditions. This provided support for the hypothesis that regulatory fit enhances perception of value.

In the lecture, Prof. Higgins discussed the practical implications, aside from marketing. In education and work, it's a common notion that the way to motivate children, students and subordinates, is to add pleasure to whatever they're doing. However, if fit is more important, this strategy could be mistaken. Higgins argues that adding reward is adding extrinsic motivation to the task, which undermines intrinsic motivation. People feel like they are now doing a task "in order to...".  Similarly, adding a "fun orientation" to an important task can actually make it a non-fit, reducing engagement and therefore motivation.

In this light, it makes sense that if meditation is an important undertaking (which I believe it is), then perhaps engagement is enhanced when the practice is pursued in ways that enforce this "seriousness". For example, I have a dedicated clutter-free area in my room for meditating, it is (generally) the first thing I do upon waking - it's something I wake up early for - and the last thing I do at night, and I keep track of my practice to stay accountable for it.

2. Use of proper means

Use of proper means is all about feeling like you are doing things the right way (although this doesn't necessarily have to be in an ethical or moral sense). In another study (Higgins, Camacho, Idson, Spiegal, & Scholer, 2008), participants who were manipulated to make decisions the right way ("You need to make your decision in the right way. The right way is to make a decision is to think about which choice has the better consequences") offered a higher price for a mug, $6.35, than those who were directed to make decisions focusing on the best choice ("The best choice is the choice with the better consequences"), $2.61, but this effect only applied to those who were strongly orientated towards doing things the right way.

So what does it mean to live a life the right way? Well, religious and political belief systems tell the believer which activities are proper to do each day, and carrying out these daily proper activities will strengthen engagement in what they are doing. Similarly, other world views or lifestyle choices such as vegetarianism, veganism, or being environmentally-conscious, just to name a few, are based on a belief that these choices represent the right way to live.

Finally, and most relevant to this blog, I asked Prof. Higgins a question about whether engagement would only be strengthened while specific activities were being carried out in the proper way, or whether it would strengthen engagement in life in general. He responded by saying that it would probably be the latter - and brought in the example of meditation, which was exactly what I had in mind! After all, mindfulness practitioners really do believe that living life mindfully, with moment-to-moment non-judgemental awareness, is the right way to live, intensifying the experiences of life through increased purpose, attention and awareness. This awareness isn't limited to the meditation cushion - while we engage in life in formal practice, the point is to try and bring this awareness and engagement to experiences in every moment of everyday life.

I left the lecture feeling truly inspired, with a new perspective on motivation and the purpose of mindfulness. On a larger scale though, research like this really helps to clarify misconceptions about human psychology and motivation, to point us in a direction that really helps us to get more out of life.

If you found this interesting, the public lecture is available for public listening (audio only) here.

References 

Higgins, E. T., Idson, L. C., Freitas, A. L., Spiegel, S., & Molden, D. C. (2003). Transfer of Value From Fit. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(6), 1140-1153. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.84.6.1140

Higgins, E. T., Camacho, C. J., Idson, L. C., Spiegel, S., & Scholer, A. A. (2008). How Making the Same Decision in a "Proper Way" Creates Value. Social Cognition, 26(5), 496-514. doi: 10.1521/soco.2008.26.5.496

The Nature of Reality vs The Reality of Real Life

A huge part of Vipassana meditation is the exploration of the nature of Reality, namely the realisation of the impermanency of everything, that will help alleviate personal suffering. Something I've been wondering about though, is whether this works so well with the reality of Real Life. Let me explain...

The past couple of weeks have been tough. The holidays are officially over and university has welcomed me back with a bit of a slap in the face with reading, assignments, a battle with bureaucracy (which I won!) and a new job as a note-taker for disabled students. 

So where does meditation and mindfulness fit into this picture? Well, I made a resolution that I'd try and meditate for 1 hour in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening every day. I thought that was fairly achievable, and so I managed to do that for about a week and a half. However, now that I think I've given Vipassana a fair trial of over a month, where I had consistently meditated for at least an hour a day after the course, I've realised that there is a certain balance that needs to be achieved...a balance between the mindful being mode that cultivates a balanced, attentive and compassionate mind, and the doing of study, work and a social life. 

Both require time and energy, and I think I was investing too much time and effort into the being mode, and that this was actually taking time out of my sleep which I required for energy to do everything else I have to, and want to do (each week: 8 hours of choir, a full study load, 8 hours of work, attending talks on campus, spending time with friends, exercise). I was still sleeping for about 6.5-7 hours a night, but as someone who's used to a full 8 hours a night and has higher sleep needs, being young, I was feeling pretty sleep deprived.

I think proponents of Vipassana, as taught by S. N. Goenka, would say that 2 hours a day is the minimum, and that it's a reasonable amount of time, because you can take an hour out of your sleep and you can take an hour out of other things you might be wasting your time with during the day, or that is gained from improvements in productivity due to improved attention from meditating heaps. 

From my experience these past couple of weeks, though, this hasn't been the case. I think you need to be a super-experienced meditator (which obviously takes hours and hours of practice over years and years) to be able to reach that stage where you have complete clarity and can get by with less sleep. This requires a long, long investment phase with a lot of sacrifices, which I'm not sure I can give at this stage of my life, during semester anyway.

Thus, I would argue that although meditation is important to me and that I have reaped benefits from it and have seen changes in myself, I think that beyond a certain point, the benefits get outweighed by the increased stress that arises from the sacrifices in time, sleep and therefore energy and productivity. I'm not sure where that threshold is, but I think that even 1 hour and 20 minutes a day was too much. Moreover, I wasn't bringing that awareness into my day-to-day life. If the goal is a sense of wellbeing, awareness, emotional stability and compassion, then I think it's time to change to a routine that supports that goal in the context of university life, now that I can see that the amount of meditation I was doing was unsustainable, and actually not working for me.

The logical next step, then, is to perform a personal experiment to test this threshold. The research question would be: What is the minimum amount of meditation each day that will allow me to maintain a balanced mind? From my experiences with MBSR-style mindfulness last year, I hypothesise that 30 minutes in the morning of the sitting MBSR meditations (breath, body, sounds & thoughts), guided or unguided, 10 minutes at night of breath, and more importantly, day-to-day mindfulness, will be enough. It sure was, even during exams last year. One advantage of the amount of meditation I have been doing over the past month or so, is that 40 minutes a day will seem EASY in comparison. I will also do Vipassana for 1 hour each day on the weekend, because I have experienced benefits from this technique, and would like to keep it up.

Tomorrow is a new week, and so the experiment begins.

Diary of a Vipassana Meditator: February 2013

Those who have read about my experience at "Meditation Boot Camp" may be interested in the longevity of the after-effects, and whether I've actually been able to keep up the practice. So once a month, I will post my "Meditation Diary" for the month, including how often and for how long I meditated and notes on my meditation and its effects in daily life. Hopefully this will keep me accountable and is a way to objectively chart my journey...

Date	Morning	Evening	Notes
Wednesday 6th - Sunday 17th	10-Day Course	Missed a siting on the evening of the 17th (on return to civilisation)	102.75 hours over 10 days. (10.75 each day for 9 days + 5 hours on Day 10 + about 1 hour on the last morning.)
Monday 18th	About 1 hour on the plane + metta	1 hour in the afternoon incl. metta	Felt pretty focused and refreshed afterwards.
Tuesday 19th	1 hour + metta	1 hour incl. metta in afternoon	M: Sensations weren't as strong today, but equanimity was fine. Was slightly fidgety & changed posture in the last 10 minutes, but remained equanimous through loud construction noises. Felt happy afterwards. A: Was interrupted twice by a room inspection & phone call.
Wednesday 20th	1 hour + metta	55 mins incl. metta in afternoon	M: Again, not particularly strong sensations, and a somewhat agitated/busy mind. However, paradoxically it seems, was pretty equanimous. Did a bit of anapana, and think I need to up the attention a bit.
Thursday 21st	1 hour + metta	1 hour last thing at night, no metta	M: Mind was quite agitated, worrying about job interview that arvo. E: Was really, really tired, too tired even for metta.
Friday 22nd	1 hour late morning (11.15am) + metta	Nope.	M: went really well. felt really happy afterwards. thoughts seemed to be a bit slower. BUT: Waltzing Matilda (we've been rehearsing an arrangement of this in choir) stuck in my head.
Saturday 23rd	1 hour + metta	50 minutes not really meditating…lying in bed, half-noticing sensations
Sunday 24th	1 hour incl. metta	55 minutes…too tired for metta.	Wondering if this is really making a difference in my life. Still tend to react to certain thoughts with immediate anxiety - physiological & psychological. Wondering if I should throw in some CBT techniques.
Monday 25th	1 hour + metta	1 hour + metta	E: Sat adhitthana. Was fairly deep in meditation, but distracted by pain in the end. I know when my meditation is coming to a close when it starts getting really uncomfortable! Decided to stop just letting thoughts run in the background, but to bring awareness of the fact that I'm thinking & then feature sensations centre-stage again. It seemed to increase my attention/awareness.
Tuesday 26th	1 hour + metta	1 hour + metta	M: Sat adhitthana, and was really, really equanimous. Continuing to build my awareness by constantly renewing attention on sensations - thoughts much more in the background. Feelings of metta were really strong. E: Was feeling strong resistance to meditating. Had doubts arise (and disappear, of course) about the point of meditating…why am I doing this again?
Wednesday 27th	About 40 minutes, no metta	About 45 minutes + metta	M: Really distracted. Still really tired. Lots of thoughts about my career trajectory after a conversation with an academic… E: A lot more equanimous. Felt more energised afterwards. Noticed that this equanimity was relatively unshaken even through potentially frustrating parts of choir rehearsal…I was actually in a pretty meditative state, and remembered to remind myself, yathā bhūta…as it is (I am at rehearsal and we are note-bashing), not how I want it to be (in bed)...It looks like this may be making a real difference in my life?
Thursday 28th	About 50 minutes + metta	1 hour + metta	E: Pretty good attention & equanimity, despite being really tired before starting. This tiredness surprisingly didn't affect my meditation.

Summary

Sittings missed: 2

Total number of hours meditated in February: approx. 123 hours

Total number of hours meditated in my life: approx. 148 hours

It was definitely easier to focus at the meditation retreat. That peace, silence and lack of external stimuli and distractions and, well, life, is  something not to be taken for granted. Meditation often felt out of context in the "real world".

Also, I often felt like I wasn't making much "progress". There have been plenty of doubts and anxieties too, both about the technique and about my life in general. However, I think it's important to keep in mind how much of a beginner I still am, and to look at it from a wide-angle perspective - it probably will take months to see huge changes. For now, however, I do think my equanimity, both in meditation and in day-to-day life, has improved a LOT. If that's the yardstick of progress, then I think I am making some progress. For example, even though I have had some tiredness these past couple of weeks, that hasn't been coupled with the normal annoyance at being tired, and I haven't gotten annoyed and frustrated at certain situations that I would have in the past.

Attention has been another aspect that I would like to work on. I think it's about being mindful of when my thoughts are creeping from the backdrop and threatening to take over centre-stage where my sensations should be, and firmly refocusing my attention. 

Finally, I think in terms of my evening sittings, I'll do those soon after dinner, rather than right before bed. As nice an idea as it is to be able to have a balanced mind before sleep, in practice, when tired, it just feels like an obstacle to bed, like an unnecessary burden. So maybe it won't test my equanimity as much, but it seems to work out better…at least, it's much more positive, which is important for continued motivation - what we know from operant learning theory is that we are unlikely to keep doing activities that are highly unpleasant (although to some extent, there is a role for the development of grit in some circumstances). My thoughts on this issue may change. 

Overall, this month has been a huge exercise in self-discipline. I can't believe I've actually been able to meditate basically for 2 hours a day, nearly every day. I have, however, seen that it has carried opportunity costs - time. I haven't yet gotten to the stage where I'm meditating so effectively I can get by with less sleep. So now that uni has started, I've reduced my meditation goals to 1 hour a day - maybe 40 minutes in the morning, 20 in the evening, and if I do more, great, if not, that's ok too - baby steps.